I am writing this clearly. I never wanted a casual relationship with you, that's because I love you more than I loved ever those 3 combined. My intention was always serious and respectful because I wanted to spend my entire life with you. I focused on my future because I wanted to come to you with dignity and honor one day. Maybe you thought I moved on, but I did not.
I also want you to understand something clearly. I normally would not message you or disturb you. I stay focused on my future and my goals. But your actions, especially the spiritual and sorcery related things happening between us, forced me to speak because remaining silent was becoming difficult for me physically and mentally.
Now I need to say something honestly. If any kind of sorcery by burning those papers with that half candle that causes At-Tiwala (Love Spells), spiritual influence, or force is involved between us, then it needs to stop. Love should never become something that causes pain, weakness, confusion, or suffering. It is not necessary that everything is seen through physical eyes. Many things are also seen and understood through spiritual eyes.
What I have been facing physically and mentally for months is not normal for me. And after spending years in isolation, prayer, and self reflection, do not think I am completely unaware spiritually.
I also want you to understand something clearly. I am not desperate, and I am not running behind anyone without dignity. I do not crave anything from this world. The thing I value more than my own life is my self respect. But for you, I kept even that aside because my feelings for you were real. I have no grudge against you, and I never hated you.
But I need to be honest about what I have been going through. After praying Isha, I often start experiencing pain in my left arm, heartaches, chest pain, weakness, and issues in my muscles and joints including my wrists, knees, feet, and arms. I only want to live a normal and peaceful life, but whatever is happening between us is not letting me live that way anymore. I am aware of much more than you think. I still hold respect for you, and I still ask ALLAH SWT for your hidayah because I cannot afford to lose you.
But when something crosses the level of my patience, I remove it from my life even if it is beneficial for me. So tell me clearly, what do you actually want? I do not find any of this weird anymore because too many things have happened for me to ignore them. I am not against you. I am not trying to fight you. I only wanted peace, truth, love, and a future with you.
I will not die because of losing you. Nobody dies because of someone leaving. Human beings learn a lot through pain and separation. I have reached a level of stoicism where very few things affect me anymore. I am neither asking for validation from you, nor do I want to give validation to anyone anymore.
Now the decision is yours. If you truly love me and want me in your life, then come with honesty, clarity, peace, and respect. And if you do not want me, then let me go completely and stop everything that is hurting this connection.
Now you decide. What you Want?
The ball is in your court now.
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